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How do you steal a husband? Well, lace your lips with honey, dress to tease, sprawl on a warm bed, call out his name in ecstasy and voila! he is yours. The art of husband poaching is going mainstream and stories of aggrieved wives are quite commonplace in our tabloids mainstream radio shows. For a country that is deeply steeped in its patriarchal roots, reverse gender roles seem contradictory. I grew up with the clear understanding that men were territorial creatures. Wives, girlfriends, daughters were guarded like state jewels and kept under tight surveillance. It was never a good idea to mess with a man’s wife even if he was away in Afghanistan and his wife was an eager accomplice in the indiscretion. Tales of men who ran afoul of a married man’s wrath usually involved hot pursuit with machete in hand. Anyone stupid enough to lust after a soldier’s or worse still an APs wife would be harboring suicidal tendencies. It took the extremely, devious character, usually in cohorts with a cunning wife to keep an affair under the wraps. But nowadays, why bother looking for a husband when you can steal one! It is no different from luring a child away with candy. A little distraction here and before you know it, he is sneaking around. Best friends are notorious. Office colleagues are opportunists and ex girl girlfriends can be sticky. Married men are more attractive to this breed of single women because ‘all the good men are married’. Unattached men are scary, unpredictable and not home trained. The wedding ring is the babe magnet that gets hearts racing. Cute kids and steady job can make one extremely desirable in the sights of a husband poacher. Married men are also safe as they represent security. It also saves a lot of time when another woman has molded a man to a malleable position as opposed to working on your own from scratch. As a result of this emerging social dynamic, attached women who understand the value of their partners have being forced to become fiercely territorial because men continue to remain faithful to their options. Those in the know, understand that the higher the status of the man, the more territorial one has to be. Infidelity has become normalized. It is no longer, Thou shall not commit adultery but more like thou shall not get caught committing adultery. Husband snatchers simply present the illusion of the grass that is greener across the fence. Often as well, she can be all those things your wife refuses to be. What is in it for the accused woman? There is the high of keeping a clandestine affair secret. Imagining, no one knows, the rush of adrenaline brought about by risky behavior especially when consequences are not immediately apparent. The thrill of conquest. Married men are usually too flattered to resist temptation. Often, the hovering women provides the necessary validation that he does not get at home. The feeling of being desired can be quite a powerful lure. It starts out as harmless fun but like a gateway drug, they quickly get hooked and come back for another hit. Typically the other woman is normally castigated as an evil Jezebel for obvious reasons. But without trying to scaling the moral heights on this issue, she is really not to blame. The bottom line, is no one can steal your husband without his permission. www.oyungapala.com

1. We Respond to Praise It’s believed that men are so consumed by our libido that we have no self-consciousness surrounding sex. But men are no different from women when it comes to compliments as catalysts for sexual confidence. This praise can be delivered before reaching the bedroom (give us the once-over and tell us how buff we look), and after (give us the once-over and tell us how buff we look naked). Along those lines, men worry about the size of their guts (and other measurable organs), their hair (or lack thereof) and other attributes. Try to be extra affirming about those sensitivities. 2. We Fear Intimacy… …but not for the reason you think! Studies have shown that boys are more affectionate, even more expressive, than girls until they reach school age. At that time, social repression begins—of words, thoughts, feelings—and our desire for human connection goes underground. So taboo is this desire for intimacy that its possibility can terrify men—not because it’s smothering, but because we realize how desperate we are for it. What’s a woman to do? First, understand that your guy’s hasty retreat post-sex may be about his own shock at how much he craves a connection with you (and how much he’s denied it in life). Then, retreat a little yourself. This gives him time to see that his boyhood habits are, in fact, perfectly manly. 3. We Appreciate Sex for Sex’s Sake Having said that about intimacy, sometimes a little “throw-me-down sex” is the right medicine. According to Joe Kort, PhD, a psychotherapist and sexologist, “Men want their wives to enjoy raw sex, not just endure it or take it personally. For men, it’s not about dominating a woman, but ravishing her.” On occasion, try letting him ravish you. 4. We Are Not Just Our… The penis gets all the press, but men have “many erogenous zones,” says psychologist Melodie Schaefer, PsyD. “Men tend not to correct women because they’re afraid women will shut down and not touch them at all. But there are many places a woman should touch.” Like the chest, the inner thighs and face. Two other key areas: Gently gripping a man’s testicles can be a real turn-on, as it blends control with release. Also, stimulating the perineum, the area between the scrotum and anus, will heighten pleasure during oral sex. 5. We Encourage Fantasies “Men want to share their fantasies but worry their wives will shame or judge them,” says Dr. Kort. Similarly, Dr. Schaefer reports that men wish women would reveal their imaginings. Want to open yourself to these possibilities? Try making a game of it. First, and most important, promise not to judge the other; then, privately write out scenarios that have tantalized you and place them in a box. When you are next intimate, pull one out. If you’re both comfortable, give it a shot. If not, Dr. Kort recommends asking the author a key question: What about this fantasy do you like? Sometimes, its themes can be addressed in different, more comfortable scenarios. 6. We Like It When You Talk Talking during sex stimulates more than our ears. What kind of talk? Dirty, praising and instructive are great starts. As amusing as it may sound, a woman’s words can make a guy feel as potent and virile as a Roman gladiator, even if he’s a suburban banker. 7. We Need Your Honesty Sex can solve the stresses of a relationship, but it’s often where the stresses show up. If we complain about a lack of sex (or your doing certain things only on our birthday), we may be overlooking serious issues that underpin such withholding. We need you to enlighten us. The male ego is often tied to sex, so it’s easy for us to dismiss bedroom problems as female disinterest rather than issues we have a part in. Avoiding these problems, however, only perpetuates your feeling unseen and our frustration. 8. We Enjoy the Dance Men like a good quest; unfortunately, these days, there are so few. But romance earns that distinction. Allow us to court you; make us deserve your desire. Dr. Kort makes an additional point: “Emotional intimacy is about closeness, but sustaining sexual desire demands a certain amount of distance.” How do couples strike this tricky balance? By allowing each partner to have what he calls “separate sexuality”: a sexual life that doesn’t include, but doesn’t betray, the other. “For him, that might mean allowing his wife to use toys or letting other men look at her; for her, it might be permitting him to watch pornography in order to experience a fantasy.” Such indulgences help maintain the balance of desire and devotion for both parties. 9. We Can Explain Pornography Finding a spouse using pornography is a top reason couples seek counsel, says Dr. Kort, but it shouldn’t be overreacted to or pathologized. A few things to clear up: 1. Sex addicts represent only 4 percent of the population, so it’s unlikely your man is one. 2. Because childhood experiences influence sexuality as an adult, people are very idiosyncratic about what turns them on. In other words, says Dr. Kort, “no woman can, nor should she, be everything to a man.” Still, the question remains: How does a woman not take pornography personally? First, determine if your mate is compulsive, or can only have sex, with pornography. If so, you may want to seek counseling. If not, Dr. Kort recommends taking the secrecy out of pornography by discussing it. Use the lens of “what about it turns him on versus what turns you off.” That way, a dialogue is created that allows for honesty, dignity and closeness. 10. We Always Need It, But Not for the Reason You Think Men are accused of being sexually insatiable, but women should rethink this. “Men see sex as a celebration,” says Dr. Schaefer. “They wish women would take more of a ‘carpe diem’ approach to it. We move through life at the speed of sound, with multiplying challenges and pressures. It’s easy to allow demands on our time and energy to rob us of the joy, pleasure and opportunity that sex affords us. On the long list of priorities, it should not be on the bottom rung.” If that doesn’t make you want to “seize the day” (or something else), consider the health benefits: Orgasms release oxytocin, which has been called the “bonding hormone,” bringing couples closer together while it alleviates anxiety and stress, reduces blood pressure and promotes healing.

Is there a formula for lasting love?

According theTELEGRAPH.The formula for the perfect first date is; Candlelit dinner + kissing = a call back. The perfect relationship? Timing + communication x mutual attraction – emotional baggage = intimacy. Penis + pulse = One night stand. Relationships seem simple when you put them like that. And yet we've all had those romances where the sums seem to add up, where the right boxes were ticked and the scores were even... but somehow it doesn't add up to love. Love is frustrating, elusive, intangible. It starts in that sweet spot between intimacy and excitement which is impossible to manufacture and tiring to maintain. Can the algorithms of online dating sites or indeed the long odds of stumbling upon your perfect partner down the local pub ever predict where, when or for how long cupid will strike? Whilst science has not yet manufactured the perfect partner, mathematicians are claiming to have found the formula that predicts how long love will last. Research commissioned by MSN has revealed a new love equation that determines the key ingredients to a successful, long-lasting relationship – with factors such as a good sense of humor ranking in importance alongside a person's number of previous sexual partners. According to the 2,000 males and females surveyed, 25 per cent of both men and women believe their partner should have had four sexual partners before them (with one in five men clinging to the traditional belief that they should be their ideal woman’s “first”). The survey also found that men prioritize looks over intelligence and are twice as likely as women to believe that good sex is important for a happy, enduring relationship. The biggest surprise for me was that the number one trait we're all apparently after is wit. So there you go, it's not sex-appeal but sparkling banter that'll make you a hit with the opposite sex. It is claimed that the resulting formula (L = 8 + .5Y - .2P + .9Hm + .3Mf + J - .3G - .5(Sm - Sf)2 + I + 1.5C - see key below) can determine how long a potential or current relationship can be expected to last. Does it really work? I decided to test the hypothesis through extremely scientific means (in other words, by broadcasting to the world, via Twitter, that I am single and ready to mingle in a mathematically-approved fashion). I applied the formula to various unsuspecting male friends and volunteers over the course of an afternoon, and eventually found a man with whom love would apparently last 12.9 years. Only trouble is... I don't fancy him. And despite the 12.9 happy years I could offer him, he doesn't particularly fancy giving it a go either. That's science for you. Back to the drawing board. The formula explained: L = 8 + .5Y - .2P + .9Hm + .3Mf + J - .3G - .5(Sm - Sf)2 + I + 1.5C L: The predicted length in years of the relationship Y: The number of years the two people knew each other before the relationship became serious P: The number of previous partners of both people added together Hm: The importance the male partner attaches to honesty in the relationship Mf : The importance the female attaches to money in the relationship J: The importance both attach to humor (added together) G: The importance both attach to good looks (added together) Sm and Sf = The importance male and female attach to sex I = The importance attached to having good in-laws (added together) C= The importance attached to children in the relationship (added together) Note: All 'importance' measures can be scaled from 1 to 5 where 1 is not important at all and 5 is very important. Research findings for same sex couples differed slightly from heterosexual couples and so the formula changes slightly in light of this to L = 8 + .5Y - .2P + 2J - .3G - .5(S1 - S2)2 - I + 1.5C (where S1 and S2 are the two partner’s ratings for the importance of sex).

Guys, do you feel she is cheating on you or probably your attitude or your sexual weakness is driving her to the arms of another man.

A new poll has shed light on why women look for love and passion outside their marriages, asserting that wearing socks and talking dirty during sex are two of the many reasons. Victoriamilan.com, a site that urges infidelity, surveyed 4000 women about their partner’s bad habits that turn them off. The findings showed that little things like stealing the sheets at night, and pleasuring himself over her were among the top reasons why women cheat. According to the site: “Little things like stealing her covers, keeping his socks on while making love, or checking the dreadful smartphone,” are all ungentlemanly gestures that turn women off. A lack of creativity between the sheets, skipping foreplay also using dirty talk also featured on the list. “When you’re busy talking dirty, your partner often thinks your mind is more on that porn movie fantasy than on what is happening between you two in the moment.” Also, checking the smartphone in the bed again and again, lack of foreplay and creativity between the sheets also featured in the results.

You know your bra doesn't fit right. You look at yourself in the mirror and you can see that something is off. Maybe the straps are digging in or the back is riding up. Maybe your cups are gaping or your back is bulging. Recognizing that there is a problem is easy. It’s figuring out how to fix it that’s the hard part. “A lot of women just hold onto their bras for way too long,” says Michelle Lam, founder and CEO of online bra boutique, True & Co., and overall bra-fit badass. “If you’re the kind of woman who wears the same bra every day, you need to be prepared to replace it every 3 to 4 months.” The reason, Michelle says, is that bras stretch out over time, especially if you have a larger bust, since your bra has to work that much harder to support you. “Think about it: if you’re wearing your bra for 12 hours a day, 7 days a week, for 4 months, that’s over 10,000 hours of wear time. Of course it’s going to get stretched out!” You can prolong the life of your bra by making sure it fits on the loosest set of hooks when you first buy it, but that’s not much help when you’re at home trying to figure out what to do with the bra you already have on. Some issues can be solved with a simple adjustment, but others require that you bite the bullet and go spend some money on a new bra. Here’s how you tell the difference. 1. The Problem: You straps are falling down The Solution: Adjust “First off,” says Michelle, “get a bra with some pretty straps so you won’t mind so much when they fall down. Second, understand that straps stretch out faster than the rest of the bra, so they need to be adjusted more often. Definitely after every washing and, depending on how large your bust is, sometimes even in the middle of the day.” 2. The Problem: Your straps are digging in. The Solution: Adjust Tighten your band. “The band stretches out over time,” says Michelle, “and needs to be adjusted so the straps aren’t left to do all the work.” If your straps are still digging in, look for a bra with wider straps for more even weight distribution, especially if you have a larger bust. 3. The Problem: Your band is riding up in the back. The Solution: Adjust If your band is riding up in the back, but your cups a sagging in the front, Michelle suggests you try tightening the band for added support. But, if you’re otherwise well supported, you may be able to achieve a better fit just by loosening your straps. 4. The Problem: The center gore is digging into your sternum. The Solution: Shop You can try wearing a bra with no underwire, but if you’re not getting the support you need, Michelle suggests opting for a plunge-style bra. “It won’t connect with your sternum in the same place so it should be more comfortable, especially if you have a bonier chest.” 5. The Problem: The center gore and the underwire are being held away from your chest. The Solution: Adjust “I see this a lot in women with larger busts,” says Michelle. “try tightening the band, but if that doesn’t work you may need to go down a band size.” 6. The Problem: You’re popping out of the top of your bra (aka quadra-boob). The Solution: Shop “If you’re just popping out a little bit, try changing to a demi cup or balconette style in the same size,” says Michelle. The reason is that demi cups support your breasts differently, allowing them to pool naturally instead of hiking them up and strapping them to your chest. If you are still bulging, though, you may need to go up a cup size. 7. The Problem: Side boob. The Solution: Shop A little bit of skin folding is natural. says Michelle, “but if it really bothers you, try switching to a triangle bra to cover the area.” Of course, if your spillage is more than just skin, switching to a different shaped bra probably won’t cut it. In that case go up a cup size to give your self more room. 8. The Problem: Your underwire is digging in on the side. The Solution: Shop If your breasts come more from the side and your underwire is digging in,go up a cup size until the underwire no longer pinches, then adding padding to fill any open space in the cups themselves. Yes, this will make your breasts look larger, which you may not want, but you’re going to have to pick your battles. 9. The Problem: Back bulge. The Solution: Shop Unfortunately, this is another time when a simple bra adjustment isn’t going to cut it. Instead, look for a bra with a wider band and more of a scoop shape in the back, which will provide more even support and is less likely to leave you with unsightly back rolls.

Teenagers on sex escapades have returned to the arboretum again, less than a year after The Nairobian exposed them. In the past two months, young people – mostly students from high schools and universities – have been busted at Arboretum Grounds having sex in thickets at the forest. According to a guard at the arboretum, random sex by high school students has become rampant especially during the weekends and the holiday seasons. He told The Nairobian that in the past few weeks they have arrested teenagers as well as adults enjoying sex. He said that the vice has not stopped even though the city government held an emergency meeting early January to come up with measures to stop misuse of the arboretum. He said the security team from City Hall had before the meeting reported that students who carried laptops to the site pretended to be working on their research papers, but were watching porn. But speaking to The Nairobian Gideon Musa, the head of operations at the Inspectorate Department, said the arboretum is managed by the Kenya Girl Guide Association (KGGA) but is supervised through the county government’s by-laws. “Our by-laws are against that,” said Musa. “I will ensure a committee takes care of that from Monday (February 10).” Our sources also revealed to The Nairobian that some students do not use protection thus increasing the risk of infection from STIs. But those who use contraceptives are careless. “The students using condoms dump them around after the act,” said the guard. Efforts to reach KGGA on phone for details on how the site is managed were futile...Nairobian

Sex. This is one of the hardest topics for parents to broach with their kids. Parents are confused about just how much information is enough to give their teen; when to start such talk, and the difference in the sexuality content between the female and male teenager. Other than that, there is also the issue of whether teenagers with sexuality related concerns should be seen by pediatricians, adult physicians or gynaecologists. Increasingly though, there appears to be general consensus that pediatricians should treat adolescents, especially with the increasing realisation that most children begin to experience pubertal changes at an early age. At the same time, many children become exposed to adult sexual content from the Internet, friends, media outlets and peers. Visits to the doctor are few and often don’t focus on the unique needs of the teenager. Research shows that physicians are missing opportunities to educate and counsel adolescent patients on healthy sexual behaviours and prevention of sexually transmitted infections, and unplanned pregnancy. A recent study to assess sexuality discussions during health maintenance visits by adolescents and to identify predictors of time spent discussing sexuality and level of adolescent participation in North Carolina found that roughly, a third of adolescents left the physician’s office with no mention of sex or sexuality issues. In cases where sexual content was discussed, physicians initiated the talks, with teenagers often responding silently or with simple yes or no answers. The older teenager was more likely to talk about sex. However, by waiting until teenagers are older to discuss sex, we may miss opportunities to identify adolescents who are contemplating sexual activities. While we agree that attending clinicians could be an important source of information regarding sexuality, the role of the parent as the first source of information and guidance cannot be over emphasised. Parents should initiate discussion as early as possible with their teenagers.

COURTESY[ CABU GAH]

My Name is Francis Muroki. I am 55 Years old.I have worked in senior positions in the media and trotted the globe on media assignments. For the better part of My career,I covered former president Daniel Arap Moi on his many official trips abroad. And I carefully balanced My work and family life, giving My family the best I could. And Just when My marriage appeared calm, I was rudely jostled out of My comfort zone in a devastating way. I got married at the Holy Family Basillica in 1986. My wife and I exchanged Golden Wedding Rings which had arrived from THE VATICAN itself in Rome! And among the many Wedding gifts we received was a huge congratulatory portrait from the POPE HIMSELF! Pope John Paul,the 2nd. Severally, I had gone to Rome on official duty while working in the media and for the Catholic Church as an editor and writer of the various magazines owned by the Church. And that's how I met and made friends with the Pope. It was my day for double blessings when I got a job in 1985 in the editorial department of the then Kenya Times Media Trust in Nairobi. I also met and fell in love with a young girl working in the advertising department. We courted for a year and our love culminated with us walking down the aisle in 1986. Our marriage was blessed with three children who arrived in quick succession. They were all born at the Nairobi Hospital. At the time, the hospital demanded early booking and deposit payment three months in advance for any woman who wished to deliver there. I wasn’t worried since I wanted to give my family the best start in life. Our first child was born in 1987 had bouts of serious tonsillitis for the better part of his childhood. I recall frequenting hospitals and paying huge bills until he finally outgrew his condition. Our second child was born in 1988 after a very difficult pregnancy. We were so afraid that the baby would be born prematurely. Luckily, this wasn’t the case and the baby girl was born healthy. And in 1990, our last child was born through a Caesarean section. After the Caesarean section, my wife developed a hernia – a very painful condition that cost a lot of money to treat. Her medical bills were so high that I overspent on my medical cover from my employer. I also took some time off work to care for her. As a result of spending too much time out of the office and claiming more than I should have on the medical cover, everything snowballed into a huge problem and I eventually lost my job at a time when I desperately needed it. Thankfully, while I was employed I had bought land and built a beautiful permanent home in Nairobi’s Ongata Rongai area where we settled. Additionally, we were a prayerful family and went to church together. My priority was to give my children a good foundation and we enrolled them in good private schools in Meru, Molo and Kisumu. I was big about cars and often sent my wife to Dubai to buy and ship our personal cars and matatus, since we operated a fleet of matatus in Ongata Rongai area. This was also a chance to expose her to the world and broaden her knowledge. All the vehicles were registered in her name because I was a believer that in a marriage, there should be no division of property. Eventually in 2007, I left the mainstream media and had spells of being jobless. The financial situation got worse and progressively started affecting our marriage. Luckily by the end of 2007, I got a short-term contract with the United Nations Development Programme. By the time the contract ended, our children had completed their high school. Our firstborn enrolled at Strathmore University in 2008, the same year I also enrolled for an evening programe for a communications degree at the Daystar University. In 2009, our other two children enrolled at the Kenya Methodist University (KEMU) in Nairobi. Luckily, my wife who at the time had a steady job in the insurance industry, helped pay their school fees. I struggled to complete my course at Daystar as well as look for a job. It wasn’t easy and my wife was getting jittery about my jobless status and failure to provide for my family. Sometimes it was embarrassing when my children asked me to buy them something but I could not afford it. And With time they lost respect for me and my wife didn’t help matters, as she would put me down in their presence. She also changed her attitude towards me. And then One night in 2010, I fell and hurt my knee near our home as I was coming from evening classes. My family was not bothered when I got into the house in bloodstained clothes. That was the painful beginning of my isolation. Subsequently, I came home one evening in January 2011 and was held captive by my family. My son secured the front door with a chair and kept guard so that I couldn’t get out. My wife and children humiliated me for hours. They were spoiling for a fight. My eldest son even openly challenged me to a physical fight, as he verbally abused me. It was a very painful experience. After this incident, my wife hired transport and packed all our household items. ALL OUR HOUSEHOLD ITEMS! And walked out of our 24-year marriage taking along the children. I was devastated and moved into a lodging in Ongata Rongai until I was totally unable to pay it. I moved back into my empty home where I still live alone to this day. I developed severe depression and started drowning my sorrows in alcohol. On learning about my marriage break-up, my mother went into shock and collapsed. She never regained consciousness and died in hospital three weeks later, towards the end of April 2011. After her burial, I picked a few items from her house and returned to my house to start life afresh. At 55, I am lonely and only left with memories of my now broken family. I am back to where I started as a young man, with nothing to my name. I have become a total stranger to my family as was evident in mid last year during my children’s graduation. I was not invited and only learnt about the gradation from family friends. The bible has been my best companion, adviser and consoler. I thought I had done the best for my family but today am wiser. Even when you think you are comfortable and settled in your seemingly lasting marriage, don’t bask in your glory. I have since learnt that, just because your spouse is a Christian doesn’t mean they are saints. And I want to leave You with a quote from the famous philosopher,Friedrich Nietzsche...He said,''It is not a lack of Love, but a lack of Friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” Friends WOULDN'T abandon Friends. Friends DON'T Leave Friends in trouble. Friends DON'T walk away when things get rough. Friends DON'T wake Up one day and forget EVERYTHING You've been through. I thought she was My friend. Turns out I was dead Wrong. I Miss My Family. Now I know what it means to have and lose a family. I pray that Your marriages don't end up as mine did and also,If You aint married Yet,DON'T RUSH. THINK HARD. Think Very Hard before taking the step.

CONDOM ADVERTS WONT HELP. IF YOUR HEART DOESN'T FEEL THE SAME. This is MY GIRLFRIEND.... And ONLY I know what I feel about Her. Last Night I was holding her in my arms...and then she fell asleep... We had just been playing an online game after a movie we were watching, RIDE ALONG by Kevin Hart,ended.... I guess she got tired...And fell asleep...In my arms... I swear to God...there is NOTHING BETTER than watching the person YOU LOVE MOST in the World,losing themselves and falling asleep in YOUR arms...there is Nothing sweeter... Have You ever held a little baby?? And then she fell asleep in Your arms?? Its a Heavenly feeling. Its Nirvana. Am telling You. Now,after My baby slept in my arms... I flipped the t.v channels to stumble onto a condom advert... I know I have exhaustively tackled the topic of Condom Ads here... Now,as the Advert played on,they finished off with "tuwakinge tuwapendao...blah blah...blah...." The usual,preachy rhetoric came on...I was implored to use a condom WHENEVER I was out indulging in my hedonistic sexcapades,IF NOT For Myself,atleast for "the ones I Loved..." NO ONE LIKES ADVERTS. Infact,when they come on,we quickly flip channels.... Adverts are characteristically boring,repetitive,insipid,intrusive,lifeless and overwhelmingly bland. And we tend to pay minimal to zero attention to them. But as I watched the Advert,I looked at My girl who was serenely lying in my arms... Asleep. And then,the whole concept made sense...I saw the advert in a whole different dimension...And I totally AGREED with it... "Wakinge Uwapendao..." I watched her sleep...so peacefully and without a care in the World,Not only trusting me to rock her to sleep but also trusting Me with Her Love,Heart and Future... And right there and then,I knew that it would BE CRIMINAL to bring STDs and HIV/AIDS home to her... Right there and then,The Love I had for Her superseded ANY Message that could ever be carried in Adverts or Billboards or Whatever... I realized that the word,"Wakinge Uwapendao...." was a powerful word. Powerful. But You see,For You to "Kinga Uwapendao" You must first be TRULY and DEEPLY in Love with them... You MUST BE. Otherwise, If You are just messing with Her or Him...Or just taking them for a ride,Its hard to feel the URGE to "Kinga" them. Kama Huwapendi,Huwezi Kuwakinga. And that's why I feel that,to win the war on HIV and sexual diseases,LAZIMA KWANZA TUPENDANE. Mapenzi Ya dhati. Deep,Unbreakable Love. Kama sikupendi,basi SIWEZI KUKUKINGA. Love is powerful. It overcomes ALL. And as My Baibe was asleep in My arms,I saw how vulnerable she was,How innocent she was,How trusting and Faithful she was... And I knew right there and then,IT WOULD BE AN UNFORGIVABLE CRIME to bring STDs and sexual diseases home to that girl.... I would NEVER FORGIVE Myself. And I remembered how Many Girls... How many Men stayed true to the Union,true to the Relationship, Only to be INFECTED by the people they TRUSTED the Most. Its Hurting. So today,I urge ALL of You to sit and think of the One You Love,Hold them in Your arms tonight if possible, think about How Much You guys Have been through, Look past at Your journey together,at the formation of a Young Love to the culmination of an Unbreakable bond...Think about them...Deeply and Analytically... Remember how much You Love them...And how Much they Love You... Now,think about Bringing DEADLY SEXUAL Diseases to them!!! Its Unthinkable. And Unpardonable! As I held my Angel in My arms,I knew I had to keep her safe! And healthy! I had to! Its a MUST! You know what?? We dont even need adverts...Or billboards or Whatever... Because as long as You deeply and sincerely Love them,THEN the responsibility to take care of them,'Chunga' them and 'Kinga' them comes NATURALLY. What we NEED is MORE TRUE LOVE and LESS ADVERTS. NO ONE would want to harm the ONE they Love! No one!! And Baibe,I promise, I ain't Never putting You in a risk. Never. Not Because An Advert Opened My Eyes....But Because Your Love Opened My Heart. YOU DON'T kinga them by using a condom,You kinga them by NEVER Needing to even use one with ANY other person in the first place.

He is a commitment phobe An immature man does not realize that he has to grow up and upgrade his life. He doesn’t want to commit to anyone. He will not dedicate his energy on something when he prefers to do something else like adore and make love to his new car perhaps. He will not spend quality time with you. This man will never give you a definite answer because he does not want to commit to anything or anyone. #He always points the finger Nothing is ever his fault. Instead, it is everyone else’s fault. Even when caught in the act of having a clandestine affair…it is not his fault that the lady he is having an affair with finds him irresistible. He will never accept blame and when he finds himself cornered he will be generous enough to share the blame with you. #He has never been in a meaningful relationship He has never had a steady relationship and it is always the girls’ he has dated fault. His dating stories are full of one night stands and relationships that lasted two or three weeks and guess what honey, your relationship with him will not last either. Dating an immature guy is like a full time hard labor, peanuts paying job. It is taxing, frustrating and exhausting # “I love you” are words that will never come out of his mouth This dude will admit to loving his car, watch, video games and apartment-that he can barely afford by the way- but he will never talk about his feelings for you. He will torture you emotionally especially if your maturity levels are far apart and if you want different things out of life. He will heap emotional baggage after emotional baggage on you and will leave you to repair the damage without ever feeling a thing for you. #He is very materialistic He is all about everything flashy and expensive. He has his heart set on German cars when he cannot afford them without a massive help from the bank. He will borrow loans to buy things that will just make him liable… smart tv, smart refrigerator, flashy tire rims just because his friend got a better one than his. The sad part is that he will not spend on you, even on special days like your birthday. While at it he will not save anything because he can barely afford his lifestyle. That’s when you know you are dealing with someone stuck in the world of a young boy. He never has money because he Is always busy entertaining what doesn’t really matter and he probably owes everyone he knows some money. #He is very inconsiderate The immature man is a very selfish man. What he wants is always more important than what you want. It is always and I mean ALWAYS about him. He will rarely pay you a compliment even when everyone else does. He is selfish with his compliments. Other people and their needs don’t bother him and you will find that because of his selfishness and not caring about other people’s feelings, he is very rude. #The surface is all there is to him This guy is one word “SHALLOW”. He has no depth to him which is surely bound to bore you (as his girlfriend) stiff. He has absolutely nothing exciting to share about his life. He has no inner secrets, no stories and no true emotions. He will go along with everyone else’s ideas and thoughts. He is so shallow and shallowness does not look good on anyone. #He has no real life plans This guy has no clue what he wants to do for a living. He is comfortable with being employed (he was lucky to get his current job) and has no clue how to progress in life or what direction to take. He has not invested in education and feels nothing for the same. Just being alive is enough for him. The rest will take care of itself or some foolish, blind, desperate woman will. He is that ” YOLO is my motto” man even with the dumb decisions he makes in life. #The ball will always be in your court Simple things like deciding what to cook for dinner he cannot do. That entails so much thinking for him so he lets you decide instead. He will always throw the ball back in your court. Just in case you need him to help you with a plan of action, forget it…you are better off asking a complete stranger in the streets to help you make a decision. He avoids having to make any decisions.If anything ever goes wrong or you need his help, he will never step up. All in all, an immature man is a man trapped in a moment and he can’t get out of it!

Heel Raises Heel raises are excellent for developing a rounder butt. You can use ankle weights or resistance bands to maintain tension for better muscle growth in the glutes and hamstrings. 1. Begin on your hands and knees in a tabletop position. Drive the heel of one foot straight up towards the ceiling, maintaining a 90-degree angle at the knee. At the top of the movement, take a second to flex the glute muscles as you exhale. 2. Inhale as you slowly bring the knee back down, crossing it over the opposite knee. Tip: For a more intense workout, do 1 to 2 minutes on one leg, then continue with another 1 to 2 minutes on the same leg, but this time extending your leg straight out. Once this 2 to 4 minute set is complete, switch legs. Jump Squats Jump squats are great for gaining strength and burning fat. 1. To start, slowly lower yourself into a squat making sure your knees don't pass your toes. This is called the safe-squat position. 2. Next, spring up into a straight jump and land in the same safe-squat position. Repeat this movement continuously for 30 seconds. Single Leg Bridges Leg bridges are great for your booty and build sexy VS model legs. 1. Lie on your back with one foot flat on the ground and one leg straight up in the air. 2. Exhale as you place your weight into the heel of the foot on the ground and drive your glutes up aiming to make your body straight from shoulder to knee. At the top of the movement, flex your glutes and inhale as you slowly return to start position. Repeat this for 20 repetitions per leg, pulsing at the top for 10 seconds at the end of each set.

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Yo, porn makes threesomes look so good. I don’t understand why real life isn’t more like porn. I’m sure if I had a real three-way, it would be exactly like this. 2. I can’t believe I’m getting the opportunity to have a real three-way. I bet this shit happens to PORN STAR all the time. This is what it feels like to be PORN STAR 3. Wait. I only have one penis and there are two vaginas. What the hell am I supposed to do with the other vagina? I feel like I’ve been tricked. This is regular sex but more work. 4. Are they going to do lesbian stuff? I’m going to try to make them ki — alright, well, I guess that means no lesbian stuff. That’s really putting the pressure on me. 5. I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF A THREESOME! [singing] This is so great. I am having sex with two different vaginas. I can't wait to tell everyone about this. I am the best person ever. 6. Ok, I guess you try to move — nope. That’s not going to work. Alright, you get on top and you hold — dammit. Your elbow is literally inside my eye socket right now. How does no one know what to do here? Did we all just forget how to have sex? Ok, she’s literally just standing around right now. This is basically a middle-school play. 7. There are four naked boobs in this room. That's two more than usual. Awesome. 8. Oh wait, shit. I’m supposed to come. I forgot about that part because I was so busy focusing on two vaginas and four boobs. I guess I’ll just jerk off in front of you two for a few minutes? This feels less cool and more weird. 9. I feel like I’m trying to survive a bear attack. I’m not making eye contact, I'm making myself look as big as possible, and I'm making a lot of noise for no reason. 10. That was awkward and cumbersome and messy and great and fun. WAIT A MINUTE THAT WAS THE SAME AS REGULAR SEX. 11. Hey, bro! I had a three-way! Yeah, it was amazing! It was so cool! The girls were so into it! Yeah, I’m the man. 12. And on the off-chance you're in a “Devil’s Triangle” (two dudes, one girl): NO NO NO NO I HATE THIS I HATE THIS IHATETHISIHATETHISNONONONONONONONO. I’m sorry.

1. Foreplay

. Porn star: "All this soft touching is boring! Real Grown-Up Women only have an orgasm by going from 0 to full penetration! Now fuck the shit out of me even though I am not properly lubricated and am also not that turned on by you personally, because that feels great!" Real woman: "Uh, you DO know that if we don't make out for like half an hour before we have sex, I will be dry right? Okay, great, now please make some kind of tactile contact with one or both of my boobs." 2. Body hair. Porn star: "Women don't have hair anywhere except their head, and I guess their eyebrows! Also, we don't go to the bathroom, and when we cough, tiny fairies jump out of our mouths and toss glitter in your eye!" Real woman: "I do not enjoy lying in a freezing cold room with my legs in the air while an Eastern European woman with dead eyes rips my pubic hair off. Deal with it." 3. Discovering that your partner has a huge penis.. Porn star: "Oh my God, you're huge! I love gigantic hard cocks everywhere, like on my desktop computer wallpaper, or even in my ear!" Real woman: "Holy SHIT. CAN'T." (You guys know that line from "Peacock," the Penis Ode by Katy Perry? "I just shed a tear / I was so unprepared?" That's how I feel when I am caught off-guard by a giant erect penis.) 4. Giving a blowjob. Porn star: "I love doing this! I love everything about this! I would definitely rather not be doing anything else, like playing with kittens or receiving a merit award!” Real woman: "Is this working? It seems like it is. Do I need to do something with the balls? I should maybe ask Yahoo Answers, since they are clearly the authority on everything. Man, this is taking awhile. It will be awesome when I can breathe again." 5. Swallowing. Porn star: “Mmmm, I wish they bottled this and sold it Real woman: "I just put these nice Ralph Lauren sheets on my bed, so why not! Also, do you have some gum?” 6. Getting a facial. Porn star: "Ooh! This is like being misted with refreshing spa water, but mixed with Play Dough, and seXXXier!" Real woman: "This is actually kind of hot. But is it going to cancel the effects of that actual Groupon facial I got last week?" 7. Doggy-style. Porn star: "This element of degradation and anonymity is definitely not making me wonder whether you are actually attracted to me! I will call you ‘Daddy’ now because that’s not weird for either of us!" Real woman: "I should really get that wall repainted." 8. Anal sex. Porn star: "I’ve never felt such an intense sense of satisfaction with my personal and professional life as I do when my butthole is being reamed.” Real woman: "Why did I agree to do this? Would my whole life have been different , Am I pooping? Am I pooping on a dick right now?" 9. Receiving oral sex. Porn star: "Oh my God! That’s it! Right there! Yeah!" Real woman: "Sort of. Down more. A little to the left. No, too far left. No, that’s my elbow. Actually, fuck it, Duck Dynasty’s on." 10. Having an orgasm. Porn star: "If I fake this unnaturally attractive orgasm loud enough nobody will be able to tell that I am actually thinking about what I'm going to make my two-year-old son for dinner tonight! So here I go: EEEEEEEEEEE!" Real woman: *flops around* "************!*!*!*~~~~~*!!!!!" *makes weird faces, probably.* 11. Afterwards. Porn star: "Again, again!" Real woman: "Want to make me some grilled cheese? Also, can you take the trash out? Thanks!"

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Do you know what your spouse is scouring the Net for to make this Valentine’s Day memorable? A survey done this week by Google indicates that in the first three days of this month, most searches on Google encapsulate a theme synonymous with February: ‘Love’ “People searched for Valentine’s messages and quotes that they can send their loved ones: love movies, flowers, as well as hotels where they can share romantic moments together,” says Dorothy Ooko, Google Kenya’s Communications and Public Affairs Manager. She further informs that dating sites were frequented both in January and February, perhaps as many prepared for the upcoming Valentine’s Day that falls on Friday next week. SURPRISES Joseph Marwa, a radio presenter, says he searched for what women like and tips to surprise ‘her’. “It’s a special season and all of us want to impress and do a commendable job with gifts and tips for the day. I wanted to find out what ladies value in a relationship,” he says. Ladies, too, were not left behind. Nelima Kerario searched for “what men like for gifts, what expectations women have for Valentine’s, and more so, why much hype on a day that won’t end one’s present troubles?” The survey by Google shows that many Kenyans were keen on finding out the most exhilarating Valentine’s quotes such as: “A kiss is something you cannot give without taking and cannot take without giving.” The first five most entered phrases were flower names, love statuses, love quotes and 123 Love. This, Dorothy explains, was expected, as February is mostly about all things romance. Many others searched for contriving suggestions. For instance, the survey shows that there was considerable stream online for subjects related to beauty and physical appeals. Net suffers looked up for ‘E-pill advice, Nigerian hairstyles and Bangla love,’ which made it to the first ten searches. This signified that some searchers are planning for various ways of intimacy with a special someone over Valentine’s. To sum it up, other online trotters searched for ‘Abysimo de passion, Love express movies, and Valentine’s messages.’ According to Marwa, many couples are probably thinking about how to cook her (or his) favourite meal, as well as how to plan a romantic evening with their spouse. As love takes over the human psyche, it has emerged that it’s a beautiful and healthy part of humanity. A study done last year in May, reports that when people are with their spouses or partners, their blood pressure lowers slightly to healthy ranges. “The lowering was not a big difference, but it’s significant,” Brooks Gump, the author of the study told America’s ABC News in an interview. LOVE IS AMAZING Gump, an assistant professor of psychology at the State University of New York says comfort and familiarity around each other, even at moments of intense animosity, plays a role towards wellbeing. Roberta Kithimba, a showbiz personality in Nairobi, confesses that she looks forward to reconnecting with her husband at the close of business each day. “There is nothing I would love more than spending time with the one that I love. The feeling is simply amazing; to have someone ask you ‘how was your day?’ This is the only person I can spend time with and not feel the pressure of maintaining a conversation — we can just spend time and I am at peace with myself,” she says. The feeling of being loved and loving someone back raises the meniscus in the barometer of health and wellbeing. This is at least true, according to Sheila Wachira, a Kenyan relationship’s expert. She says: “Love is a phenomenon that has never been fully described. It is influenced intrinsically and less attached to the tangible. What we have discovered, though, is that it has a profound effect on what and how a person feels.” CLOUD NINE Yes, and Kenyan comedian cum radio presenter JB Masanduku attests to this. The love of his life, a fellow radio personality — the sassy and attractive Tina Kaggia — has taken him on trip to cloud nine. “What I feel when I am around Tina is way beyond my ability to describe with words. It’s like I am in an icebox — it’s a feeling that can’t go away unless you solve it,” says the comedian. He recounts one time Tina brought him ‘magical healing’: “I was having a bad day at work. Plans weren’t flowing as I went about looking for ideas for my show. I was depressed and aloof when she came into the office. I felt the confusion and pain dissipate away.” Like some magic voodoo, JB was back to his usual spirit. For these two love birds, everyday is Valentine’s Day. According to Sheila, this isn’t all abracadabra and magic. “Love does cure a lot — literally,” she says. “Love acts like a buffer to the many tragedies of life. People go through stressful experiences; it’s the nature of life. At their lowest moments, people will feel lightened up when that person they love is there for them.” When the mind realigns back to normal, the odds of physical, social and even emotional angst go down incredibly, says the expert. After being in love for seven years, five of which she has spent married to her soulmate, Daphne Okonji, a mother of two, says the feeling of being in love is still ‘majestic’. It filled the hiatus that she had at one point in her life. MAGIC VOODOO “Being in love makes me feel secure and stable,” she says, adding, “It is the best feeling ever. Because of my relationship with my husband, life has been much happier and easier — even for our business. Couples in love who run a business together experience great success, and love plays a big role in that success.” Another report, from America’s National Institute of Medicine, which looked at the correlation between health and social behavior, found that intimate relationships added years to one’s life. So far, there are no local surveys to corroborate these findings. However, there are Kenyans who are contented as a result of having a life-long spouse around them. Altruistic, profound, vulnerable, insanity — or whatever else you want to call it; experts agree that love can save you a heart attack. Spend time with the one you love and enjoy the health benefits. Happy Valentine’s Day.

Describe yourself in three words? Tiny, brave woman. What do you love most about being a woman? Handbags! I do not know how men do it. There are so many things to carry everyday — phones, wallets, perfume, Ipods, magazines and even food. What do you love most about your job? I have been working in radio since 2010 and it is amazing. I get paid to play music and talk. In fact, it is more of a hobby that pays well than a job. Plus, radio is what brought my husband and I together. Do you do anything else apart from being a radio presenter? For now I am more or less a full time mummy. I love to keep my home in order. Plus, I help my husband Nathan (JB Masanduku) with his biasharas. We also have an entertainment production company called 1357, which we run together with Nathan’s friend Wati. Speaking of JB, what attracted you to your hubby? He has the biggest and warmest heart in the world. He is also a Jesus’ boy and loves like a child — he does not hold back. I cannot imagine my life with anyone else. I love the fact that he is a bit nuts. He proposed eleven days after our first date and then ended up proposing another three times. I think the only time I said “yes” was two days before our wedding. What is the most memorable thing about your recent wedding? Everything was amazing, but I can never forget is when Nathan slipped the ring onto my finger; my heart stopped! He had this look in his eyes; I cannot describe it but I saw right into his heart. Why did you choose the AG’s office instead of the usual commercial weddings? (Laughs) commercial is overrated. We wanted something private, small and intimate. However, Nathan and our daughter are still pushing for a white ceremony, so I guess we will have one soon. What do you love most about being a wife? The fact that I go home every day to my best friend. Every girl needs that. You are also a mum; tell us a something about your little princess? She is called Imani and even though she is only seven years, she has the wisdom of a grey-haired woman. What do you love to do with your daughter? We shop a lot and cook noodles together. And she is big on music just like her musician uncle DNA. She is teaching me to play the violin and the recorder. You have a trim enviable figure, what’s your secret? The roller was my best friend and I managed to get back in shape about 12 weeks after delivery. How do you balance career and being a mum and a wife? GO Family always comes first. I wake up at 5:50am to make breakfast for Imani as I do not believe the house help should do that. Then I pack her bag and we walk her to the school bus. After that, I chill with Nathan until it is time for us to head out. I do lunch with him as often as possible. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would that be and why? I am very short-tempered and it isn’t nice at all. Do you have any advice for single girls out there on how to get their Mr Right? You attract your kind. So, conduct yourself in a manner that will make that man want to wife you and not just to take a peep at your knickers. You should meet his family before you see the ceiling of his bedroom. Do you have a secret talent? I remember conversations in verbatim. I am like the audio version of Mike Ross from the television series Suits.